The Wells of Sadness

The wells of sadness

fill you up

with all the thoughts

‘you are not enough’

and all the times

when life was tough

and what you did

and who you were

was more than less

you ever wanted,

less was more

than you could handle

and in your heart

you felt the downward spiral.

No-one ever saw you sink

as you just kept going

without a blink

onwards

upwards

pushing on

never saying what you felt

letting everyone

ride your pony

when deep inside

you were so lonely.

Lonely feelings

in lonely hours

and all the while

you kept on smiling

‘do your best

just keep going’,

no-one likes a sad old face

just keep going

you’ll win the race.

You’ll get to where

you think you’re going

you’ll find the way

the signs are showing

and deep inside

you do your best,

but rewards are few

when you past the test.

You’re empty of the love you need,

you’ve gone through life

at another speed.

You got all A’s

but truly now

you feel the haze

of where you went

and how you felt

and disappoint is within

that you worked yourself

like it all mattered,

when deep within

you felt so shattered.

Tired and tight,

dark, not bright,

do your best

keep it quiet,

stay at home in your hermit’s life…

I like alone time,

it’s calm and quiet.

No one rattles,

no one shouts,

I am not pushed

or thrown about.

I have my old friend

and life is fine

and so am I

but why inside

do I still cry?

I cry because

I do keep quiet,

I write my verses

and express with light

but in the night

I cough and choke

and wonder where

my soul will find

the secret yearning of my heart.

Oh Love myself

that’s where I start.

Let my voice be heard,

let my heart just sing

with all the joy

the flowers bring,

the fragrant rooms,

the stillness now,

breathe in peace

and rest your stress,

just be yourself,

do not push and strain

love yourself to the core….

God knows how good

that would be

to bring you light

and help you see

That all you ever need my love,

is to accept yourself and know,

love is deeper than the sadness well,

so lighten up and prepare to tell.

Share your soul

with your heart

and healing comes

with the blessed start.

Tell them all how you feel

being kind, is being real.

Part 1 written July 25, 2012 in the depths of illness from whooping cough)

The wells of sadness

fill up when

you think of now

and think of then

and all the while

remembering

how it was

and who you were

and whether much has changed

on looking back

on the road

or off the track.

And now you travel

off the track,

the road less travelled

leads you on

to life with joy

being light and strong.

Blessings surround you

everyday

and healing shows

in many ways

and though the challenges

have been intense

and everyday in every way

your light is brighter

and you hear us say

“keep on going through the light

and all your blessings

are beaming bright

and your love is

showing through

love yourself

begin anew.”

(Part 2 This was written July 26, 2012 when I was still dreadfully sick with whooping cough!)

I wrote these verses 10 months ago whilst I was in the dark night of my soul experience.

I am ever so grateful I am happy now with much more joyful feeling in my everyday life. May 31, 2013

What this autumn leaf told me.....

Some up

some down

some dance around

and all the while

the breeze it blows

and some go upstream

and some go slow,

some just sit on the waterside

as emotions swirl

and leaves just glide

through the water,

carried by the flow

and they go someplace

they do not know…

And others, well

they wait their time

they place themselves about mid-line

and wonder ‘what-ifs’ yet to come,

playing notes,

but rarely strum.

These are the ones

who know there’s more

than easy paths through the woods

and ‘wish I had’

or ‘wish I could’.

Of course we can

choose our own sweet space

and go our way,

at our own pace.

This is real for some

who fear ‘what’s next’,

read the verse,

or read the text,

the manual may have all they need,

but they go their own pace,

no thought of speed.

Now what is this,

I hear you say

as you type this down

as it’s heard today…

Is this about me?

or you,

or all of us, one and all,

there is guidance

from the leaves that fall

down from trees

we hardly see

that colour themselves

with beauty, that’s given free

for all who see…….

And if a sit, came to be,

the leaf from tree

would say, and see

all we ever need to know

to live with love

and surely show

that what is up, is not down

upside-down is all around

and the seed is planted in the ground……

The tree it grows up to the sky

and neither you

or either I,

will think a thing

about the gift

that comes to us with every leaf

that ever landed on our path,

a page from heaven

to send us hope and let us know

we can all cope

with everything that comes our way

we have guidance everyday…

So walk a little slower by

the tree of life

near which you lie,

and there will ever be the breeze

that carries thoughts

down through it’s leaves……

and leaves you

with warm love indeed

as that is your gift

and what you need.

So as you go

and as you are,

look for signs that float to you

to shine the way

and lead you through

whatever thoughts you ponder long

be blessed today

and know you’re strong…..

(Written with a red heart-shaped leaf from the Manchurian Pear tree May 16, 2013)

As this verse came to me, I just kept typing to keep up speed.

Here is a way of using words, that until I read it back to myself, I wonder what I am writing for us, and then I know I have been gifted another treasure. I believe this verse is about:

Ask and you shall receive…..

Let some things fall away,

let them go…

you never noticed anyway…

Have more hope and faith,

be creative

in your own sweet way

and bring your patience

into everyday…